Eat my Shorts!

Ever sat down and thought about shorts? If you are now picturing some bloke in Bermudas with white socks and sandals, you're off on the wrong tangent.

I'm talking about shorts as in short scripts.

It came to my attention the other day that although I spend hours on writing spec. features - Film scripts, dear, I'm not 'Vision Express' - it's not very often that my time is spent on short film. So, since they say 'What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger', I decided to bleed over the laptop and write a bleeding short.

From what I hear, comedy shorts are always in demand at festivals, so my aim was to write one and on Saturday morning... Boom! I woke up with an idea and write one I did.

Enthusiastic and half-baked, I asked a friend if it was any use and got a resounding 'No, but ask around.' So, I scanned the old grey cells and remembered that two of my friends and contacts from 'LSF' do short film. Networking! Score! (The first is a Director and the second is a Short Film Maker.) Thus, girding my loins, I fought back the nerves and sent a couple of grovelling e-mails. Help, I'm a calamity! Get me out of here!

Anyway, as luck would have it, both ports of call came back with helpful advice and even shooting notes... I can now bag a duck from twenty paces!

Wait a moment... Sorry, wrong shooting notes.

Though I had never considered it, I was reminded that even in a short you have to have a character arc and that doesn't mean adding a yoga scene for good measure. Thus, my scenes got manoeuvred to showcase the motivation and goal of my principal character, in turn giving the scene arc and coherence.

It works out that friend and colleague, the radiant Jane Hamer, has set up a script consultancy for short film at www.janehamer.co.uk2 where you too can bask in her knowledge of all things short script related.

She took my three page draft and led me through where I was on track and where, format wise, I was decidedly off it. She helped me with budget advice and with simple tips on how to cut black from the page and make my short look as professional as possible. (Often hard at 5'2 and a smidge!)

Jane's concise, experienced help made me see how; I could make Scene Headings consistent, dialogue stronger and my comedic voice not only peep from behind the curtain but shuffle out from under it and stomp on the toes of the unbelievers. So there!

I asked Jane why she decided to set up a short script consultancy?

For peace and quiet, she said:

"I enjoy reading other people's scripts very much. When the competition/opportunity called to take part in 'Create50 -The Impact' I jumped at it. It required writers to write a short script and then do just that, read and leave helpful feedback. I found it addictive!

I also enjoyed helping other writers improve their work and felt great satisfaction at seeing improved drafts. With this in mind, it occurred to me that I have a wealth of experience behind me within the scriptwriting and filmmaking world and that I have a lot to offer.

Having made my own short films, it enables me to pass on advice on adapting others short scripts for low budget filmmaking, especially as there is no service for those particularly looking for that. The website is up and running now and has all the details on it. So, get writing!"

As I remember the excitement when Jane got her first camera dolly, it made me wonder who she would most like to direct?

"Direct! I'd love to direct Russell Crowe. I admire him greatly as an actor. He has immense talent. He's someone who strikes me as being utterly passionate about his roles and who would work until the scenes were perfect - no matter how long it took to get them right. Yes, I'd certainly risk him throwing a phone at me!"

Duck! (Where are those alternative shooting notes? Blasted ducks!)

So what does Jane like about other people's short films?

"I enjoy watching the cinematography, seeing what music they've chosen to fit the tone of the film. I like films with a haunting quality and a story that stays with me like 'Talking with Angels' by Yousaf Ali Khan, a brave semi-autobiographical story of a young boy coping with his mother's illness. Also, the Oscar winning 'Wasp' by Andrea Arnold, rooted in realism.."

Out of curiosity, to see if she's a good sport, I wondered who she'd beat at boules?

"Johnny Vegas - definitely. It would be hilarious I'm sure, especially with a glass of wine, or two."

So, there you have it, Vegas! If Monkey's busy the gauntlet's thrown. The shorts are on. The script service is up. It's 'Hamer' time!